Let go

"They say the reason why breaking an addiction is so difficult is because no matter how bad something hurts us, letting it go hurts even more."
-- Meredith Grey

What If?

Nichole Nordeman

Excellent song for rethinking your dedication and beliefs:

What if you’re right?

And He was just another nice guy

What if you’re right?

What if it’s true?

They say the cross will only make a fool of you

And what if it’s true?

What if He takes his place in history

With all the prophets and the kings

Who taught us love and came in peace

But then the story ends

What then?

(Chorus)

But what if you’re wrong?

What if there’s more?

What if there’s hope you never dreamed of hoping for?

What if you jump?

And just close your eyes?

What if the arms that catch you, catch you by surprise?

What if He’s more than enough?

What if it’s love?

What if you dig, What if you dig

Way down deeper than your simple-minded friends

What if you dig?

What if you find

A thousand more unanswered questions down inside

That’s all you find

What if you pick apart the logic

And begin to poke the holes

What if the crown of thorns is no more

Than folklore that must be told and retold

(Repeat Chorus)

You’ve been running as fast as you can

You’ve been looking for a place you can land for so long

But what if you’re wrong?

What if you jump?

And just close your eyes?

What if the arms that catch you, catch you by surprise?

What if He’s more than enough?

What if it’s love?

Dream Big

"If you plan on being anything less than you are capable of being, you will probably be unhappy all the days of your life."

--Abraham Maslow

It was You

12 Stones

(This is for You. I've only become what I am this last year because of You. Thank You for always being there for me and never giving up on me. I wouldn't be here without You, Lord...)



It was you
That showed me who I am
And taught me how to stand
For what I know is real

I was sick of all the pain
Tired of all the shame that I felt
But you showed me a way
To never have a doubt
And always to believe in myself
Now I see

It was you
That showed me who I am
And taught me how to stand
For what I know is real

Now I'm breathin for the first time
And I'm leavin, all this behind
I've become, what I am because of you
It was you

I'm so sorry 'bout the ways
but I can't take away my past
But you love me anyway
And now I wanna do
Everything for you that I can
Even though it won't erase
The foolish things that I've done
Things that blinded me
But now I see

It was you
That showed me who I am
And taught me how to stand
For what I know is real
Now I'm breathin for the first time
And I'm leavin, all this behind
And I'll stand
For what I know is real

So how can I make this up to you
I'll fight and I'll push and I'll strive
Now that I'm living my life for you
I'll fight and I'll push and I'll strive
Can't you see

It was you
That showed me who I am
And taught me how to stand
For what I know is real

Now I'm breathin for the first time
And I'm leavin, all this behind
I've become, what I am because of you

I can see the writing on the wall
As time begins to crawl away from me
And I've become what I am
Because of you
It was you

Calling You

Blue October 

(I love you, Babes...more than you know. Thanks for always calling me...) 

There's something that I can't quite explain

I'm so in love with you

You'll never take that away

And if I said a hundred times before

Expect a thousand more

You'll never take that away

Well, expect me to be

Calling you to see

If you're okay when I'm not around

Asking if you love me

I love the way you make it sound

Calling you to see

Do I try too hard to make you smile

To make a smile?

Well I will keep calling you to see

If you're sleeping, are you dreaming? And

If you're dreaming, are you dreaming of me?

I can't believe

You actually picked...me

I thought that the world had lost its way

(It's so hard sometimes)

Then I fell in love with you

(Then came you)

And you took that away

(It's not so difficult, the world is not so difficult)

You take away the old

Show me the new

And I feel like I can fly

When I stand next to you

So what if I'm on this phone

A hundred miles from home

I take the words you gave

And send them back to you

I only want to see

If you're okay when I'm not around

Asking if you love me

I love the way you make it sound

Calling you to see

Do I try too hard to make you smile

To make a smile?

I will keep calling you to see

If you're sleeping, are you dreaming? And

If you're dreaming, are you dreaming of me?

I can't believe

You actually picked...me

A Christmas Wish

December 25, 2009

If I could only have one wish

For this merry Christmas night

I couldn't pick a single one

That alone would justify

I'd wish for peace to come to all

And pain to melt away

But I'd also wish for love and truth

On this Christmas day

I'd wish for lively fun and joy

Ten thousand bells to ring

I'd wish for laughter to be heard

And the herald angels sing

But I'd also wish for quieter times

To reflect upon this day

For time to think on why we're here

For men to learn to pray

I'd wish that all could find the hope

That trusting in Him brings

Instead of worry, hate and fear

Instead of trusting things

And I'd wish that those we love could know

How much it means to me

To be together on this day

To be a family

And in a few more years to come

I'd wish that we could smile

When thinking back upon this day

And linger there awhile

If I could only have one wish

For this merry Christmas night

I couldn't pick a single one

That alone would justify...


Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

The Boy Who Changed My Christmases Forever

This story really touched me, so I'd like to share it with you:

By John London

      I hurried into the local department store to grab some last-minute Christmas gifts. I looked at all the people and grumbled to myself. I would be in here forever and I just had so much to do. Christmas was beginning to become such a drag. I kinda wished that I could just sleep through Christmas. But I hurried the best I could through all the people to the toy department. Once again I mumbled to myself at the prices of all these toys and wondered if the grandkids would even play with them.

      I found myself in the doll aisle. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a little boy about five holding a lovely doll. He kept touching her hair and he held her so gently. I could not seem to help myself. I just kept looking over at the little boy and wondered who the doll was for. I watched him turn to a woman he called his aunt and say, “Are you sure I don’t have enough money?” She replied a bit impatiently, “You know that you don’t have enough money for it.” The aunt told the little boy not to go anywhere; that she had to go get some other things and would be back in a few minutes. And then she left the aisle. The boy continued to hold the doll.

      After a bit I asked the boy who the doll was for. He said, “It is the doll my sister wanted so badly for Christmas. She just knew that Santa would bring it.” I told him that maybe Santa was going to bring it. He said “No, Santa can’t go where my sister is … I have to give the doll to my momma to take to her.” I asked him where his sister was.

      He looked at me with the saddest eyes and said, “She has gone to be with Jesus. My daddy says that Momma is going to have to go be with her.” My heart nearly stopped beating. Then the boy looked at me again and said, “I told Daddy to tell Momma not to go yet. I told him to tell her to wait till I got back from the store.” Then he asked me if I wanted to see his picture. I told him I would love to. He pulled out some pictures he’d had taken at the front of the store. He said, “I want my momma to take this with her so she won’t ever forget me. I love my momma so very much and I wish she didn’t have to leave me, but Daddy says she will need to be with my sister.”

      I saw that the little boy had lowered his head and had grown so very quiet. While he was not looking, I reached into my purse and pulled out a handful of bills. I asked the little boy, “Shall we count that money one more time?” He grew excited and said, “Yes, I just know it has to be enough.” So I slipped my money in with his and we began to count it.

      Of course, it was plenty for the doll. He softly said, “Thank You Jesus for giving me enough money.” Then the boy said, “I just asked Jesus to give me enough money to buy this doll so Momma can take it with her to give to my sister, and He heard my prayer. I wanted to ask Him for enough to buy my momma a white rose, but I didn’t ask Him; but He’s given me enough to buy the doll and a rose for Momma! She loves white roses so very, very much.”

      In a few minutes the aunt came back and I wheeled my cart away. I could not keep from thinking about the little boy as I finished my shopping in a totally different spirit than when I had started. I kept remembering a story I had seen in the newspaper several days earlier about a drunk driver hitting a car and killing a little girl and the mother was in serious condition. The family was deciding on whether to remove the life support. Surely this little boy did not belong with that story.

      Two days later I read in the paper that the family had disconnected the life support and the young woman had died. I couldn’t forget the little boy and just kept wondering if the two were somehow connected. Later that day, I couldn’t help myself, I went out and bought some white roses and took them to the funeral home where the young woman was. There she was, holding a lovely white rose, the beautiful doll, and the picture of the little boy in the store.

      I left there in tears, my life changed forever. The love that little boy had for his little sister and his mother was overwhelming. “We make a living by what we get; we make a life by what we give.”